Недавно на Warhammer Community опубликовали (по случаю открытия пятисотого магазина GW) 500 фактов про Ваху. Довольно много из них — общеизвестные вещи, еще какое-то количество — внутренние шутки, но есть и правда интересные. И смешные. Поделюсь немного, чтобы не пропало. Если нужно, могу и перевести, но сейчас мне лень (=
196. There are no wolves on Fenris.
197. There ARE Wolves on Fenris!
и еще здоровенная пачка всякого в таком же духе15. The red ones go faster.
22. When playing a game, the models you finished painting most recently WILL die first.
23. That said, any painted model will roll better dice than unpainted ones.
36. If your opponent command re-rolls a 1 into another 1, it is considered good form to buy them a drink.
37. If they do this at least three times in a game, it is polite to get them some new dice.
60. While the Phalanx is nigh-indomitable in open battle, the Adeptus Custodes are rumoured to have contingency plans to destroy it from within should the Imperial Fists ever turn traitor. (кусты прямо умилятельные. планы у них).
69. The Adepta Sororitas was founded to exploit a loophole after the Adeptus Ministorum was forbidden from having “men under arms”.
70. The Adeptus Ministorum also fields “men under arms” in the form of crusaders and armed priests, because when you’re a trillions-strong theocratic cult, “rules” are more like “recommendations.”
87. Nurgle’s plague gardens are tended by Horticulous Slimux, who rides upon his mighty snail-steed Mulch. Horticulous rarely leaves the gardens; when he does leave, he tends to the foul flora and fauna that he and his fellow daemons spread across the Mortal Realms. (то есть у нас совершенно буквально есть нурглитская демоническая улитка!)
91. By a quirk of fate, a lot of Games Workshop high street stores are located near pubs. (действительно, загадочное совпадение...)
102. In Space Marines heraldry, any beast included in their Chapter symbol (for example a salamander head, griffon, lion rampant or wolf), always faces the enemy. This is usually worn on their left shoulder pad. (геральдика — это няшно!)
107. The total page count of nearly all codexes, battletomes and rulebooks is a multiple of 8. This is in no way a secret act of worship unto Khorne.
108. Orks use their teeth (or “teef”) as currency. Because Ork teef grow back rather quickly, no Ork is ever in poverty.
110. Some enterprising Orks have tried extracting Squig teef to use. It usually doesn’t end well, except for the Squig, who gets an unexpected meal.
112. No Ork possesses hair. Instead, they wear hair squigs as a status symbol — hence their impressive topknots.
113. Why hair is a status symbol in a genetically bald race remains a mystery. (вся пачка фактов про орков вызывает сплошное мямямя)
131. We had an incredible fact to write for number 131, but the Inquisition told us we’d all be electro-flensed if we published it.
143. Ragnar Blackmane once took out a renegade Predator tank by tearing open the crew hatch, throwing in a belt of frag grenades and promptly holding the hatch closed. The effect was said to be much like when you shake a soda bottle and take the lid off. But more red.
144. At the Imperial armoury, Rogal Dorn gets a discount on every pair of battle-gloves. Meanwhile, Ferrus Manus gets a discount on helmets.
151. If you took all the Space Marines ever made and stacked them on top of one another, you’d upset a lot of hobbyists.
161. History doesn’t record who won, but both sides claim it was them.
162. Quite a lot of history is like that, actually, particularly in the Warhammer universes.
164. Warhammer Community’sFrank has a rather large Nurgle force – approximately 7,777 points. Quite fitting, really. He’s working his way towards 7,777,777 and claims he will attain daemonhood upon doing so. (отличный способ стать демоном, я считаю)
181. Not all Ultramarines follow all of the rules all of the time.
182. You can find out what happens when they don’t in The Chronicles of Uriel Ventris by Graham McNeill.
184. Khârn the Betrayer has a kill counter linked to his helmet’s visor to record the number of skulls he claims for Khorne in each campaign! (очень удачно устроился Кхарн, даже черепа самому считать не надо)
196. There are no wolves on Fenris.
197. There ARE Wolves on Fenris!
202. In their first significant engagements against humans in the Damocles Gulf, the T’au Empire assumed that Raven Guard Chapter Master Corvin Severax was the king of the Space Marines and that killing him would stop them for good. (маленькие наивные Тау)
210. Space Marines were originally designed to wear knee-high armoured boots, but at the time, they couldn’t be cast in plastic. Hence their iconic flared greaves were born!
221. To travel faster-than-light, ships in the 41st Millennium punch a hole through reality into a living hell known as the warp, aim in the general direction they want to go and hope to arrive in one piece/alive/still as themselves. (формулировка отличная просто)
225. It is rumoured that Big Mek Orkimedes once created a Battlewagon that actually had enough dakka. But he destroyed it in secret so as not to put all of Ork society into turmoil.
227. It is further rumoured (by abject heretics) that The Emperor is kept alive by Waaagh! energy. The Orks believe he is the most powerful ‘umie Weirdboy… and thus he is.
228. The above is more a rumour than a fact, and writing such things for public consumption will likely get you taken away by the Inquisit– (Инквизиция не дремлет!)
243. In the very first edition of Warhammer 40,000, Space Marines getting shot by a Shokk Attack Gun rolled on a random table to see where the Snotling materialised and what it did. One result involved the Space Marine biting the Snotling’s head off and carrying on as normal.
248. Space Marine backpacks contain small nuclear reactors. All the vents are to disperse the extra heat this generates.
249. Putting small nuclear reactors into your models’ backpacks is a bad idea though. Seriously, don’t do that.
267. There’s a sign on the Rhino outside Warhammer World imploring people not to touch or climb on the Rhino.
268. An image search for “Warhammer World Rhino” has over 650,000 results — a fair few of them are touching, or climbing on, the Rhino. (потому что если стоит табличка "не трогать", то нельзя же не потрогать)
270. The first Imperial Space Marine, LE2, was released in 1985 as a limited edition single character alongside Space Orc LE1. (это прямо бездна веков какая-то)
275. Squig meat tastes like chicken.
276. Strangely, chicken doesn’t taste like squig. (и я не хочу спрашивать, где и зачем эти люди пробовали мясо сквигов...)
287. Kairos Fateweaver counted to infinity. Twice.
288. One of his heads started from the beginning, whereas the other started from the end.
302. The best way to get better at building models is practice.
303. The best way to get better at gaming is practice.
304. The best way to get better at painting is to pray to Slaanesh for artistic inspiration.
305. Just kidding, it’s practice. (а если помолиться Слаанеш, тоже могут интересные результаты выйти!)
335. There was once a Daemon Prince of Slaanesh called Doomrider who rode a bike. He had a model and everything. (демон на мотоцикле! неисчерпаема сила упоротости)
336. Kor’sarro Khan hunted Doomrider across the galaxy, defeated him, cut off his head and keeps it in a box. This stops Doomrider from dying and coming back.
345. In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war. (и мы никогда не устанем об этом напоминать)
348. [REDACTED BY ORDER OF THE INQUISITION] (Инквизиция снова не дремлет)
356. Only one psyker has ever tapped into the Tyranid Hive Mind and survived the process — Varro Tigurius, Chief Librarian of the Ultramarines. (сильны синенькие, однако)
357. Hive Fleet Kronos has been spawned specifically to fight against the daemonic forces of Chaos.
358. As Hive Fleet Kronos cannot gain sustenance from their quarry, Hive Fleet Leviathan has been culling and pre-digesting worlds then leaving them for Kronos to devour. (какие продуманные тираниды)
366. Lasguns make a “snap-crack” sound when they fire, according to Dan Abnett. We don’t want to ask how he knows that. (нет, ну Абнетт-то знает! ему можно доверять, я считаю)
380. The Incubi have iron statues of Khaine in their shrines, but nobody is brave enough to ask what they do with them. (а ведь сколько интригующих вариантов...)
390. It’s impossible to read the first lines of Dan Abnett’s Horus Rising without getting chills down your spine. (чистейшая правда. я как раз перечитывал недавно. "I was there...")
400. The Emperor Protects.
401. But it helps to have some sturdy armour in case He’s distracted.
407. Some of these facts might not actually be true.
408. Some of these facts are definitely true.
430. Visionary Tech-Priest and STC-discoverer Arkhan Land used to be accompanied by a cyber-simian with a venomous sting in its tail. It was thought to be a very faithful representation of the simians of Ancient Terra. (и я даже помню эту обезьянку)
434. Nemesor Zahndrekh once imprisoned aliens of many races, including Kor’sarro Khan and Illic Nightspear. Every night, the prisoners would eat a feast while the Necrons watched and tried to remember what food tasted like. (какие упоротые бывают некроны, оказывается)
441. There are no substantiated accounts of anyone ever walking into a Games Workshop to “just buy a pot of paint” and leaving with only a pot of paint. (нельзя так просто, угу)
449. The two missing Pri…[Redacted by the Inquisition]. (по-прежнему благодарим неусыпный надзор Инквизиции!)
452. Cadia stands.
453. The planet broke before the Guard did. (Кадия в наших сердцах! потому что да).
465. When life gives you lemons… Blood for the Blood God!
466. The followers of the other Chaos Gods don’t get such a cool catchphrase. We’re not saying this is why Khorne is so popular, but it probably helps.
486. Not even The Blue Scribes have read this far.
487. Though if they had, they would read that their names are palindromes of one another – P’tarix and Xirat’p.
498. Anyone claiming that they know all the facts about Warhammer is wrong.
499. Except Tzeentch. Obviously.
500. There’s more to life than Warhammer, but none of it is quite as fun.
Недавно на Warhammer Community опубликовали (по случаю открытия пятисотого магазина GW) 500 фактов про Ваху. Довольно много из них — общеизвестные вещи, еще какое-то количество — внутренние шутки, но есть и правда интересные. И смешные. Поделюсь немного, чтобы не пропало. Если нужно, могу и перевести, но сейчас мне лень (=
196. There are no wolves on Fenris.
197. There ARE Wolves on Fenris!
и еще здоровенная пачка всякого в таком же духе
196. There are no wolves on Fenris.
197. There ARE Wolves on Fenris!
и еще здоровенная пачка всякого в таком же духе